brown black and queer

My roommate and I had a quick conversation. She asked me how my work was coming along and I explained to her that my priorities are messing me up. Basically, “my school priorities are not my life priorities, and right now I choose life,” said. “I choose life!” she repeated mockingly and melodramatically. Her response, “Well, my life is school for the next week” until graduation, is an example of how race and social responsibility are tied together. As a white upper class woman, she can afford for her priorities and her only focus to be school. On the other hand, as a woman of color and, yes, middle class, I feel the obligation to my community ALWAYS and while I’d love to have the time to only focus on my schoolwork (studying for my Conversations of the West class on the literary and philosophy canon, aka old white men who we still acknowledge for ALL our modern, civilized thoughts and ideologies, neglecting and bad-mouthing any people of color, especially from the “Third World”/”Global South”) and make straight A’s (so hopefully Affirmative Action will consider me with the always equally qualified white student), I can’t. I must also work towards getting my voice out there for my liberation and for those like me, which in this instance is this very blog. I choose to write this post right now, instead of doing my reading assignment, except that later I will have to do that reading assignment. The social responsibility I feel weighs down on me in a way that does not burden her. So racialization becomes quick sand for me and a firm ground for her; the more I want to move, the more difficult it becomes for me to get out alive.